On December 28th, 2012 I left Brazil for the last time. At least, the last time during what will be a long time away. Out of all the things that could have seeped into my consciousness during my lifetime, an insatiable curiosity and a love of Brazil were the two that anchored themselves deeply. So why, then, did I leave?
The two things that have always stayed with me, though, are rather intertwined, as it was the curiousness which permitted the love of Brazil. According to the Myers-Briggs test, I’m an INTP (and intuitive, thinker-perceiver) and that basically means I like to deal in concepts, ideas, and systems. It means my mind craves the conceptualizing but often loses interest in the doing. What got me started on Brazil was the dreaming about it and the studying of it, which is surely how everyone starts out. Well, one thing led to another and I began to think that the doing (ie, living in the country) would be as satisfying to me as my studies. It very well can be. Even looking back, I have no doubt about that. The real issue is that the kind of person I naturally am (an idea person) started to slip my mind, all in favor of living the Brazil that I had learned about.
I regret nothing and I learned a ton through challenging my personal nature but, being who I am, I found myself floating back to my status quo ante. My lesson reminds me of something I once read about human nature. It was something to the effect of, “People don’t change. They simply become better or worse.” If life experience is like publicity (“any publicity is good publicity”), then I have become better by venturing off into Brazil’s small countryside towns, fishing villages, jungles, big cities and favelas.
I hope anyone reading this may find the time to do the same.
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